The question Nate and I are asking each other now is when we want to try again. So the irony of this whole thing was that we were going to wait a couple more years before having a third. We wanted a little break where we could just enjoy each other and Maverick and Summerly, before jumping back into sleep deprivation and breastfeeding. But, like I said before, babies come when they come. And this one was coming now, even though Nate and I weren’t sure we were ready. And the beauty is that we got ready. And actually really excited. Then life threw us this curveball, and now we are a little confused. On the one hand, we would love to try again right away. We were in love with a new baby, and would like to make that a reality. On the other hand, we don’t want to make an emotional decision, and ignore all the reasons we originally had for waiting. Also there is some hesitation that we don’t want to be hurt again, but I try not to buy into that because that’s just pointless. The truth is, I don’t believe there is ever a right time to have a baby. I think all the planning in the world still doesn’t prepare you for the utter chaos that is a new baby. But that’s really part of the fun.
When we found out I was pregnant with Mav, I was terrified because I didn’t think I was ready. And I was about to graduate from school and take my state licensing test in approximately 9 months. Terrible timing. Well, I worked my butt off to make sure everything was lined up so that I could take my last week off of school to have Mav, then travel to Los Angeles 10 days later to take my test, and then go on maternity leave and not go back to school unless I got the results that I had failed. It was a stressful and blissful month to say the least. But everything seemed to work out perfectly and I passed!
And then with Sum, we thought we had it all figured out. Nate was going to transfer to a new command in a couple of months, and then we estimated training would take about 12 months. So minus a few weeks at a time here and there, he would be home for most of my pregnancy, and not have to deploy until the baby was at least 4-5 months old. Well, that plan quickly got thrown out the window. He left 5 days after checking in to the command, and was gone for about 90% of my pregnancy, right up to 5 days before my due date. I can’t even begin to describe how pregnant hormonal crazy I was during that 9 months. And I apologize to all grocery clerks, mailmen, and other service industry people I might have lost my very short temper with.
Then shortly after Summerly’s birth, we had to completely move out of our house, (furniture and all), for two weeks because the FAA was replacing all of our windows and doors for free because we live under the flight path. This was a huge and amazing gift. I’m not complaining, I swear. But we had very little say in when the construction would happen. So just making sure Nate was home to facilitate the move, and that I wasn’t still pregnant or in labor was a nightmare. We had planned on spending the two weeks in the comfort of my parents’ house playing in the pool all day. Well, that got kiboshed as well because Nate had another training trip. So we pawned off the dogs with some friends, and drove 6 something hours to northern Cali to live in a hotel for two weeks. Did I mention Nate wouldn’t be with me the first three days? So on my own with a two-year-old and a one-month-old, eating only what fits in the mini fridge and is microwaveable, and washing Sum’s burp cloths and bibs in the sink. And then 5 weeks after we came home and moved back in, Nate deployed for 6 months. Sum was almost two and a half months old. So, again, when you think you are planning for a baby and arranging things in your life in preparation, just be prepared for a tornado to blow through and leave your plan in shambles.
This brings me back to laughing about everything out of my control. Because it’s so ridiculous I just have to. Like while we were staying in the hotel for two weeks, Mav had a poop explosion in his swim diaper at the hotel pool. So I quickly ushered him out of the pool, wrapped him up in a bunch of towels, and strollered him and Sum upstairs to the room. We walked in as the maid was finishing up, and as soon as she figured out where the smell was coming from, she hauled ass out of there. I threw him and all his swim clothes into the bath tub, and attempted to wash them as best I could. Remember that we didn’t have a washing machine readily available. I got Mav clean and the clothes salvageable. But the bathroom was a wreck, and you could smell the poop towels I had wrapped him up in from the elevator. So I peeked my head out into the hallway where the maid was about to start the next room, and as nicely as I could, I asked her to pretty please come back and clean the bathroom. I would have done it myself, but didn’t have access to any cleaning supplies. And hotel shampoo wasn’t going to cut it. So she gave me the, “Fu*k my life,” look. And I gave her the, “Girlfriend, you’re telling me,” shrug. And she came back. I did feel bad, especially when I asked her to take the poop towels with her. But being a mom, you gotta do what you gotta do, and mostly I’m laughing the whole time.
So back to the question; to have a baby, or not to have a baby?…Well, for now, we can’t really answer that question. We know that we will have a third baby at some point, but just not yet. I’m really enjoying being skinny again, and so not ready to give up my beloved wine. Oh, how I missed you. And even though we will do our best to be responsible with our work obligations etc, and get pregnant when we believe the timing is right, it probably won’t be. And that’s cool. Being parents of two kids already, we know to just roll with it. And, like I said before, that’s part of the fun. So here’s to attempting to plan for a baby for the right time, and probably failing miserably, but remembering to laugh about it every step of the way.
Here’s some pix from our two week hotel stay