Week 12 & 13

I’ve made it through the last two weeks of my first trimester!  Not only does this mean that my first trimester symptoms should be fading away soon, but it also means that my odds of miscarrying drop down to less than 10%!  I honestly feel a weight that I didn’t even know was there has lifted.  What a relief.  So let’s recap how the first trimester went, shall we?…

Well, I know I explained the nausea and headaches in painstaking detail.  Oh, and who can forget the constipation?  That was my triad of death, as I bluntly referred to it.  I did have a few other symptoms that were obviously overshadowed, but were certainly still there.  For one, my skin is sensitive and tender all over.  Especially the boobies!  I will develop blisters on my feet from wearing Ugg boots of all things.  Forget about wearing heels.  Clothing and jewelry rubs and irritates my skin to the point that I get rashes everywhere; armpits, hips, ankles, wrists, in-between my toes and fingers, and of course the most uncomfortable is the panty line, ouch!

I can’t regulate my temperature for sh*t.  All the blood is rushing to my growing uterus and baby, so my extremities are freezing.  My feet are like ice bricks all the time.  And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I’m having a menopausal hot flash and stripping all of my layers off as fast as I can.  Literally, a hot mess.

Feeding myself is a constant surprise because I’ll be craving orange chicken all day, and then after happily chowing it down for dinner, I can never have it again for the rest of my pregnancy because the thought of it makes me sick.  So figuring out what I can manage to eat on a daily basis is a challenge.  I am thankful though that it’s not as bad as my first pregnancy because I couldn’t eat chicken AT ALL the entire time.  Seriously, not even a bite.  And my weirdest craving was dipping a corn dog into soy sauce.  I really can’t believe I did this, but I’m telling you that it was absolutely delicious at the time.

And last, but certainly not least, hormones.  One day I am infatuated with my hubby and my life and just straight jolly all around.  The next day I am a raging, short-tempered, no patience, hormonal, snappy biatch, who can’t stand anything and everything that my husband does or says.  At lease this time we know the drill because I can now say to him, “Please just don’t speak to me right now because everything you say makes me want to strangle you.”  And he will sweetly respond, “Yes, Dear.”  But if I had tried that my first pregnancy, he wouldn’t have been so understanding, and I certainly didn’t have the insight to know that I’m being hormonal, much less how to deal with it.

So all in all I’m feeling pretty accomplished to have made it through the first three months.  I am looking forward to the next trimester which will have  whole new slew of surprises, one of which will be feeling my baby kick and dance around in my belly.  As much as I might vent and complain about the never ending discomforts of pregnancy, I am really enjoying this, and so excited for what’s to come!

PS, here’s a pic of my baby bump, and the rest of the pix of Elfie McJingles on his nightly adventures.


Week 11

So 11 weeks means I’m almost done with my first trimester, Woohoo!  Although the nausea shows no signs of waning, and the headaches are almost every single day.  I will remain hopeful that these two symptoms will soon be over, or at least less frequent.  Another symptom that just popped up has been ruining my life for the past week.  It’s honestly kind of embarrassing to write about, but at this point, I just don’t give a sh*t.  Literally, because I’m constipated.  Another wonderful pregnancy symptom that no one wants to talk about.  So not only is this to be expected in the first trimester because of hormones, (as always,) but it’s compounded by the anti-nausea pills that I’m taking almost every day.  So that’s just a lose, lose situation.  Oh, the joys of pregnancy.

Again, not the demure, lovely thing people think it is.  I am a hot mess over here with an ice pack strapped to my forehead to soothe the headache, one hand over my mouth as if that will prevent me from vomiting, and then my other hand clutching my stomach because of the cramps caused by the constipation.  Or maybe the cramps are a result of the large amount of Miralax I have recently ingested.  Let’s hope, because if that doesn’t work, I have been instructed by my doctor to use an enema.  This is humbling to say the least.

Well, of course the Miralax doesn’t do the job.  Fantastic.  So when I am finally desperate enough to send my hubby out to pick up an enema, I am in complete shock when reading the directions.  As it turns out, you can’t just insert the liquid while sitting on the toilet.  Oh, no.  You have to basically do a downward dog position while on your knees with your face to the floor, and then hold that for five minutes after inserting the liquid.  FML.  My sweet and compassionate husband asks if I need his help and I am mortified.  I basically scream at him, “Absolutely not!”  I am reminded in that moment of the movie, “This is 40,” where the husband asks the wife to check to see if he has hemorrhoids.  I guess this is normal life for us now.  But still, I will endure this humiliation by myself, alone, thank you very much.

Although here I am writing about it, so I guess I have completely thrown my pride out the window.  This is actually a good thing though, because if I remember correctly, there is no being shy in the delivery room.  If you were a conservative person before, pregnancy will swiftly strip you of that.  It was really hard to swallow at first, and here I am pregnant with baby number three, and still feeling humiliated and betrayed by my own body.  As annoyed as I am about this, I have to remember that this made me a more compassionate person, and a more patient mama.  So cheers to me and my enema, and looking forward to what surprises might come next.


P.S.  We have been playing Elf on the Shelf for the very first time, and I think I am having more fun with it than the kids.  We’ve named him Elfie McJingles, and here are some pics of his nightly adventures!

Week 10

That’s right, we are pregnant!!!  And I’m very happy to report that this pregnancy is kickin’ my ass.  The onslaught of first trimester symptoms are in full effect.  I am exhausted, of course, but powering through it like the veteran mama zombie, (mombie,) that I am.  I am getting headaches so frequently that I am forgetting what it feels like to not have one.  And the worst of all is the nausea.  It is debilitating and shadows me all day. Even in the middle of the night when I wake up to pee for the fourth or fifth time, (another first trimester delight,) it rears it’s ugly head and I rush back to bed in hopes that I can sleep it away.

So I beg the doctor for something to help, because I need to be a functioning human most of the time.  She gives me something different than what I was taking my previous two pregnancies, and it turns out that this stuff is combined with a sedative.  So here I am taking it first thing in the morning before work, and wondering why everything is so hard; driving, thinking, standing.  I remember being tired with my previous pregnancies, but not like this.  I’m living my days on auto pilot and not even remembering chunks of it.  Mombie.  Finally my girlfriend puts it together and enlightens me.  Thank God for that, because trying to function under a sedative was as difficult as trying to push through the nausea.  The doctor prescribed me something else, and also something to cope with the headaches.  So now that my two worst symptoms are somewhat manageable, I feel like I have rejoined the world again!  Woohoo!

The main reason we delayed the announcement is because we wanted to get that first eight week ultrasound to confirm that there is, in fact, a baby in there this time.  As most of you know, we suffered a miscarriage a few months ago.  It came as a complete and tragic shock, and therefore made us very skeptical when looking at the positive CVS brand pee test.  For my last three pregnancies, that pee test might as well have been written in stone.  But since one of those resulted in the miscarriage, this time we needed more proof.  And even after two ultrasounds, we still had to make a conscious decision to believe it. I’m guessing that that’s probably normal though.  So now that it’s been 10 weeks, and I am nearing the end of my first trimester, and can no longer button my jeans, we feel confident in sharing the news!

It’s true, my jeans are already a lost cause.  With your first pregnancy, you don’t really show until about 5-6 months.  And most people still won’t say anything until 7-8 months just in case.  With your subsequent pregnancies however, your body is like a balloon that’s already been blown up and deflated before, so blowing it up again is much quicker and less resistant.  Your body remembers.  My first pregnancy I refused to buy maternity clothes, and somehow got away with it.  My second pregnancy I bought the clothes, but held off wearing them until the 5-6 month mark.  This time I unpacked those maternity clothes right away, and am almost looking forward to just surrendering to the inevitable.  I guess you could say that I am embracing the good, the fat, and the nauseous.  Because after all, I will have another sweet darling little baby out of it. ❤