Week 17, Oh so sexy…NOT

So Nate is on his travels, and I am holding down the fort at home.  You’d think I’d be used to this by now.  Nate and I have been together for seven years, (married for five), and we have been on sea duty in the Navy for the entire time.  In layman’s terms, he has been gone about 50%-80% of each year.  In the beginning, it was obviously just us.  Whenever he left town, I could do whatever I wanted.  Hit the town with my girlfriends, or go shopping, or go get a mani-pedi.  Then we got little Yoshi.  Then Sasebo.  Then we got married and had Maverick.  Then we bought the house.  Next we had Summerly.  And soon we will have our newest little baby bundle.  So although he has continued to leave town, my lifestyle has changed drastically throughout the years.  Each time he leaves, my responsibilities are evolving and ever-changing.  So I am not used to it at all.  Also, I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the heartache that I feel when he leaves. I always miss him so damn much.  As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

So it’s been a few days now, and the sadness is waning, and I am back into my single mommy groove.  I’m on top of the chores, the house is immaculate, the kids are eating regularly, brushing their teeth twice a day, and going to bed on a schedule.  A while back in a post about military life, I mentioned that four things happen every time Nate leaves; something floods, something breaks, something moves in, and everyone’s emotional stability goes downhill.  So far the only flooding is the rain outside, and I can handle outside.  Everything broke last month, including the refrigerator ice maker/water dispenser, ($400), the thunderbolt iMac screen, ($175), and a tire on Nate’s truck went flat, ($250.)  Thank God he was home for all of that:)  The critter that moved in was the spider living on the ceiling that I asked Nate to kill, but he failed twice exclaiming, “Damn, that fu*ker’s fast!”  Well, I’m terrified of spiders, but I managed to get him on my first try.  Go me!  And so far, everyone’s emotional stability is level.  I would say me and Bobos are really the only ones crying.  All in all, it’s going really well compared to other times Nate has left.

It is going well, but that doesn’t mean that my version of well is all peaceful and relaxing.  The kids and I had just gotten home from running some errands, and now I have to take Yoshi outside in the pouring rain to hose off her butt because she pooped in her doggy diaper.  I also had to hose off the diaper and throw it in the washing machine.  I then had to perform a more thorough wash in the sink with her shampoo, because yuck.  While I’m finishing up with that, my kids are screaming and hungry.  I start prepping food for them, and throw a Cup-O-Noodles under the Keurig to brew.  I settle the kids down with their lunch, and take my noodles to the couch to enjoy, which was also my first meal of the day.  Nate is on a different time zone, so his daily morning wake up call is early afternoon for me.  He texts me that he had a sexy dream about us, and I am so flattered and happy that his sexy dream fantasy is of my ever-growing pregnant body.  Meanwhile, my fantasy is being able to eat my Cup-O-Noodles while it’s still warm.  He starts sexting me, and I am loving the flirting attention, but I am more than a little distracted.  I am trying to be a supportive wife, although it’s really hard to get in the mood after Yoshi’s poop diaper.

So while I’m trying to think of what to say, Maverick tells me he needs to go potty.  I get up and take him potty.  I sit back down, and Mav and Summerly start fighting.  I ignore them. Then Mav throws a Hot Wheel at Sum’s face and breaks skin.  God, help me.  I comfort her, and drag him kicking and screaming to time-out.  I get back to my lukewarm noodles, and text my hubby back, “I love you baby, but I just can’t right now.”  He then asks for pictures when I get around to it.  And I’m like, “Okay.  I’ll start mentally preparing for that.”  I am flustered and hungry and giggling uncontrollably at the thought of how nice and peaceful his room must be right now.  Back when it was just the two of us, I was all game for some sexting and pictures.  But now it’s just ridiculous.  I try to explain to him that that is the last thing on my mind when he is gone.  And logistically, trying to take sexy pictures while the kids are screaming and pounding outside the bedroom door is just stressful and humiliating.

The next day I wake up at 5a.m. to Sasebo dry heaving and about to throw up.  I fly out of bed and try to run him outside, but we don’t make it in time and he throws up on the living room rug.  It’s just a normal day for me.  Later that day I have to clean up all the dog poop on the side yard because it’s been three days.  It’s pouring rain so it’s all mushy wet poop. Ugh.  Later that evening after I put Summerly to bed, Maverick tells me that he needs to go poo poo on the potty.  Finally someone who goes in the damn potty.  Yay!  Except when I flush the toilet, it starts to clog.  I’m literally praying to God to please flush down.  Nope.  Well, we keep our plunger outside by the shed so that the kids never get ahold of it.  Plus the only people who clog toilets are men, and I’d rather them do the walk of shame, than keep that nasty thing in my house.  Well, this is one of those times I regret that.  It’s late, it’s storming outside, and I’m not even entirely sure where exactly Nate keeps the plunger.  So do I get on my rain gear and grab a flashlight and try to find the plunger, or do I just try to shove a handful of toilet paper down into the toilet to get things moving.  These are the choices I am faced with these days.

I continue to pray while debating which choice to make.  I decide to sacrifice my hand, because after all, I’ve been cleaning up poop all day.  With a quick little shove, and a little cooperation from the toilet, it all goes down.  After I thoroughly sanitize everything, I walk back to the couch and glance at my phone.  There’s a text from Nate asking if I’m still mentally preparing.  I am hysterically laughing because my husband always has less than impeccable timing.  I text him back that, “I am literally in a world of sh*t over here, and for God’s sake, just look up some old pix because I’m getting fat right now anyways.”  He laughs and tells me that I’m an amazing mother and wife.  He’s the sweetest.  And that’s what I need to hear.  Because as long as we are encouraging each other during the not so pleasant times, we can laugh about it and enjoy the good times even more.

Here’s some pix of Yoshi and Bobos when we first got them.

And our first picture of Maverick

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Mav playing in the newly renovated front yard after we bought the house

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Pictures of Nate and I remodelling our first kitchen

And our first pictures of Summerly

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